Sex positions have provided humans with specific tips and advice on how to spice up your sex life for generations. It all started with two innocent poses, missionary and doggy style but we grew bored of the basics and that’s when things started to get creative.
Now you have hundreds of positions to try and if you thought there aren’t more being invented right now, well you are wrong. There are a few hundred combinations you can try while looking like body contortionists all from the comfort of your own bed! Sex positions serve a deeper purpose though, they bring what may be a mild sex life to an exciting peak. Maybe you feel an orgasm much more to your core while upside down, maybe it’s with a leg up here or a leg up there, you won’t know until you try them.
1/8 The Spider
I have no idea why this is called “The Spider” instead of the “Double Crab” since the sex position is a couple crab-walking their genitals into each other. If you have the tricep strength to keep yourself aloft and don’t mind a neck cramp in order to see what you’re doing, then go for it. Otherwise this position is more like a game of Twister rather than sexual congress.
Quick note: Other ways to rekindle your love are in the book: Affectionate sex positions Over 100 Illustrated, full of many sex positions.
2/8 Stand & Carry
This move is super hard, and not every couple is going to be doable for everyone. The guy stands and carries his partner while she wraps her legs around him and he thrusts. It sounds easy but the guy needs a lot of upper body strength to make it work.
3/8 Wheel Barrow
The man penetrates his partner from behind, the partner wraps his/her legs around his waist, and then the man holds onto his partner’s legs for dear life as he/she does a permanent push-up to prevent his/her head from slamming on the ground. There are easier positions for a man to enjoy the view of his partner’s buttocks without potential head injury.
Quick note: Other ways to rekindle your love are included in the book: Affectionate sex positions Over 100 IllAustrated, full of many sex positions.
4/8 Butter Churner
This position is accomplished by having the lady lay on her back and raise her legs over her head as the male penetrates her on top. This position puts a lot of pressure on the woman’s neck and shoulders. Plus, I hope the guy has done his squats since sitting on the woman will just crush her.
5/8 The Head Game
The lady lays on the base of her neck as the man enters her from his knees.
Problem #1: She’s going to get a giant neck cramp at best or a more serious injury if she loses balances and tumbles onto the ground.
Problem #2: His erect penis is being bent downward, which can lead to new sensations but is also extremely risky. One slip and pop goes the wee-wee.
Problem #3: This sex move is called “The Head Game” when based on its position it should clearly be called “The Piledriver,” one of the most dangerous moves in professional wrestling
6/8 The London Bridge
Just the standard woman-on-top position but with the man doing a back bridge. To accomplish this position, the man would require massive core strength and balance. This position is also purely for bragging rights since it doesn’t enhance the man’s pleasure at all and there are less gymnastic ways to penetrate a woman deeper.
7/8 The Pair of Tongs
This sex move is essentially a standing scissors position but with great risk. First, the man has to hold his partner like a human gym bag and not drop her like one while keeping himself erect and thrusting. Secondly, the woman has to keep her torso taut and straight while keeping herself aloft with one arm. If not, a concussion is imminent.
8/8 The Jellyfish
The man starts by kneeling in the middle of the bed, with his butt resting on his calves while keeping his upper body upright. Then the woman straddles him and squats down so he can enter. There’s not going to be a lot of thrusting. When performing the Jellyfish, you will spend most of your time doing a grinding motion, back and forth, onto each other.