If we’re being honest, doing things on one’s own always seems easier. But ultimately selfishness will only shrink one’s world, while sharing it will enlarge it. That is part of the beauty and brilliance of marriage.
The essential foundations for the balancing and blending a healthy marriage requires and share seven keys for a marriage built to last.
1.) Marriage and loneliness aren’t a good mix.
For most couples, one spouse is often more content to spend time on his or her own than the other. One is more preoccupied with work or hobbies, while the other is just a bit more naturally self-consumed. (It’s often the differences that draw people together, right?)
But marriage will not only bring a meaningful relationship and partnership into your life, it will challenge your selfishness as an individual and stretch you,.
2.) Stay interested in one another.
Many spouses too quickly lose interest in their partner. It’s easy to assume one knows everything about the other person — because it no longer requires work. The best way to keep a marriage alive is to keep your intrigue in each other active and present. Ask questions. Stay curious.
Embrace the mystery of it all. A good question can open a conversation; a great one can open your soul.
3.) Register your complaints without criticizing your spouse’s character.
Making your home a place of honesty, clarity, and (when appropriate) passionate confrontations are all essential for a lasting and thriving relationship. Disagreements aren’t always avoidable — but hurt and insults are. When you need to confront your spouse on a touchy subject, practice grace and discretion.
Remember men handle truth best when it is communicated respectfully, and women handle it best when it is communicated lovingly
4.) Give the truth time to work.
“One big mistake couples make when confronting each other is pushing the truth instead of presenting it. When the natural urge is to cram the truth down someone’s throat, you will likely never get the response you are looking for.
5.) Don’t disregard his will.
Men possesses a unique propensity for exercising a strong will in life. The deepest offense for most men is when their opinion or statements are easily disregarded, with comments such as “You don’t know what you’re talking about…”
6.) Learn to not get in her way.
Women possess a unique quality as well: They know and understand how to get things done. Often the greatest offense to a woman is when her “way” of doing things is devalued. When a woman feels she is not heard or belittled — it can lead to deep frustrations.
7.) Remember, oneness is the goal.
Think of how the Navy Blue Angels fly jets in beautiful choreographed displays. One of their leaders said, “Our goal is always to fly as one. We don’t always get it right, but we try to come as close to it as we can.”
Becoming one as a couple, while juggling all of life’s other demands, often takes a backseat to our daily agenda, when really it should be the reverse. Marriage is made to be a journey toward oneness. Marriage is about two lives merging together and flying together.
Yes. The two shall merge and become one … but not overnight.
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